I just got married recently.
It’s not the most conventional marriage. And you’re about to be pretty surprised when I tell you I married myself.
A couple months ago I realized that I had been struggling with depression (see Moustaches and Mental Illness).
Tracy McMillan has a TEDx talk worth listening to where she describes her personal relationship with marriage and her evolving relationship with herself.
Tracy and I don’t quite have the same story, but she shared an idea about how important it is to build a relationship with yourself so that you’re whole that I really connected with.
It makes perfect sense, right? Totally intuitive, yah?
Well, there was a period of time where I lost myself. I struggled with my identity – who I was and what exactly was I doing. And I was operating with much less than my whole self.
Tracy has a line in this talk that really speaks to the reason why I’m talking about this difficult stuff in such a public way, “The places where you have your biggest challenges in you life are the places where you have the most to give, if you do your inner work.”
Regular, focused, writing was such an important tool to help me do my inner work and it made such a difference in helping me to find the road back to myself. I was reminded what a powerful compass writing can be.
And that’s why I share as I have most recently on Finding My Voice Here. Maybe this helps you think about the relationship you’re having with another or the relationship you’re having with yourself?
Tracy touches on several vows in her talk. And I’ll let you watch the video to hear what she has to say on that, but the big takeaway for me about marrying yourself is that you become able to love in this whole new way. Loving people right where they are, for who they are, just the same way you are loving yourself.
And that’s how I feel today. It’s an incredible feeling to love myself in this way, again. And to be able to share this same love with others. These days, I am sharing the love, as much as I can, wherever and with whomever I am.
I’d like to think that I was married before, but went through a tough spot. For better or for worse, in sickness or in health, I was given another chance. And I came back, a better lover than ever before, eager and excited to share more love with you.
The person you really need to marry | Tracy McMillan | TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen