Silver Bullets

When are we going to realize that silver bullets just don’t exist?

A day or so ago I was swapping notes with a friend. She recently read a book that seemed to answer most of her biggest questions about life.

What pushes us to think that one book, one incident, one accident, one job, one thing, one person… is the thing that makes and/or breaks us?

Or that will get us over the hump, put us on the road to things getting better, solidify our relationship, etc.?

What is a life lived based on exceptions?

As long as X doesn’t happen, Y isn’t around, or Z isn’t involved, everything will be just fine.

But did we forget that everything is a process? That life is a journey? That it doesn’t get better – or worse – in an instant? Or because of one thing or another?

Sure, there are exceptions. Traumatic and excruciatingly challenging exceptions and that’s not what we’re talking about right now because those aren’t the general rule.

I come back to this book and these answers.

It’s great that the book has seemingly answered all of my friend’s most important questions.

But, from what it sounded like to me, she was looking for very specific answers to questions that this author just happened to articulate in a particular profound way or at a particularly profound time.

My question to her – had she “found the answer(s)” to life’s biggest questions or had she just confirmed the answers she was looking for to these complex questions, now nicely articulated back to her by someone else?

Am I being judgmental in not the most useful of ways?

Maybe we all are subconsciously are searching for someone to tell us answers to our biggest quandaries?

Or perhaps my current thinking suggests I’m no longer as interested in waiting for the message or looking for confirmation / validation in the exceptional external sources… as I am in writing my own script?


3 thoughts on “Silver Bullets

  1. Okay, MCK, Here I go again. I did read a book that was life-changing. I didn’t look for or expect it. I didn’t read the book looking for answers. However, two passages in the book affected me very strongly and caused me to accept what I couldn’t change. I took a very positive step and moved on. A huge weight was taken from my shoulders.

  2. Ruth, MCK, would you disclose the title of the book? I have a different take on this topic, different from both of yours. The answer to a very important question would have to be different at each stage in your life. In other words, the answer you need and want at age twenty is a different answer than the one you need at age 40, and if you are over 60, like I am, you see, in retrospect, that both were only the right answer (or even the right question) AT THAT TIME. So I’d say there are no absolutes. As for the answers we want to hear – there is always a book that gives that exact answer, and that is why it speaks to us – at that moment

    • Ruth Anne, there’s nothing wrong with going. Again and again and as often as you like can lead to interesting insights for you, for me, and perhaps even others.

      And your point is a good one. There are things that can mean exceptional things to help you in moments of great need, whatever that need may be at that time.

      Though, Sibylla, I think perhaps isn’t all too far away from what you suggest. The answers can certainly be at different stages. Quite frankly, answers that I work towards now are very different from even just a few months ago.

      That said, I suppose when I read into my friend’s situation, I see her looking for validation rather than stumbling upon an a ha moment.

      How might you describe the difference between the moments where we seek validation from some thing or some one and the moments where something or someone speaks to us?

      Perhaps this question is the best way to explain my reaction to her thoughts vs. both of your thoughts?

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