Two months to the day of starting this blog, I came to the realization that I had a great run of three posts for the first three days of July with nothing since. Why?
After pushing myself onto the road of daily writing, I quickly derailed. Why?
While I don’t put myself in the category of people who need to be sure of their destination before they begin, I would put myself in the perfectionist category. So, as long as I’m committing myself to do something, it might as well be perfect, no?
Falling back into the desire to produce perfection, I told myself things like, “No one will read if it is not a masterpiece.”
But let’s be honest, aside from a few family and friends I’ve shared the link with, nobody is reading anyways. So what is my problem?
One the one hand, I don’t know exactly where I’m going, and I’m okay with that. On the other hand, I’m somehow trying to control this unknown outcome.
What I need to do is just let the process unfold.
Many of us do this quite a lot. We ask questions of ourselves and the others around us, “Where is this going? What does it mean?”
But how can we find the end goal or the answer when we’re not moving at all? Standing still, pondering the meaning of life, won’t help us get anywhere. And the thing is, we don’t know, we won’t know, and we can’t know, unless we get over ourselves and take action.
At the end of the day, things have meaning because we give them meaning. Questions and their answers are a means to move, to get to a better place, rather than a means to merely acquire knowledge. Because once you have that knowledge, what do you do with it? What meaning will you attach to it? The answer – for better or worse – is up to ourselves.
Today I’ve decided to get over myself, get back on the horse, and start writing again. I will commit to writing each day because finding my voice is about exploration and the continued search for meaning, not perfection before I even start.
Credit for the image above goes to Dan Cassaro, a Young Jerk (http://youngjerks.com/). I originally found this through a google images search “movement” that took me to some work of his featured on FormFiftyFive. Shortly after I found my way to his Tumblr.